A day from 'hell'

Wow! Yesterday felt like one of the worst days of my life! (I thought the new decade was going to be the best!) First, I found out Shyla, the Bernese pup who at 9 months weighs close to 100lbs ate 3/4 of a roast chicken my hubby left on the kitchen counter, then after she was out in the wet barn she came running through the whole house tracking mud and cow chit throughout. She has decided that since her ears are droopy she doesn't hear you screaming or anything unless you have MORE food! I got her finally and dragged her into the bathroom for a bath which all of a sudden she didn't want to have any part of! (people with children might know what That's like) So I try to lift her and she drops all her weight into her lower half, kinda like hanging onto a greased pig! I grab her front and lift it in and then while she is trying to turn around and get back out over my shoulder I heft her big but in. Now remember she has decided that she likes her filthy habits and keeps trying to get out over me as I'm trying to turn on the shower head. Needless to say I am getting soaked and covered in her 'Bernese-ness'- a few of Deni's french words popped out as well as my father's Flemish (heck a few popular Canadian words too)! I have walls and tile to clean and cupboards and bathtub and a whole lot of stuff I hate doing after that....then the vacuum wont work!!! Broken belt, cant be fixed right now. OK well soon I will get to milk my sweet Curly Horns. I separated CH from her calf that morning @ 9 and figure @ 2 I will go and share with the calf. HAH NOT in CH's mind, I get 1 cup full then drag the calf to her. It decides not to suck at this time preferring to sniff at the ground. She gives me another cup full. hmmmmmmmm maybe I haven't separated them long enough. Since she is getting difficult to catch, I decide to put a lead for her to drag around (she is already wearing a halter). CH decides this is mostly not a good idea and every time I reach to snap it on her halter she whacks her 100lb horned and stanchioned head at me. Not nicely but violently, so I grab a wrench and whack her on the horn. Wow! That really works! She stopped swinging her head and I snap on the lead. NICE! Thats when she started to do that bleeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhh behhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh blehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh roar!!!! Now, CH is 13 and just calved and I am starting to think maybe I AM KILLING HER! Well she had me almost convinced. I decide to leave her there in the stanchion and go to the house with my 2 cups of milk and chill. What did Shyla do while I was gone? She went through the kitchen garbage to make sure we did our proper recycling. 'Course she had it all over the kitchen because everything needed to be checked carefully. (More bad dog no biscuits!) Now, I have sweat beading up on my brow. I still have to try to convince CH to 'share' some milk with me and I have the other imminently pregnant Petula to get into the barn, past the heifers and without letting the rest of the mutants in. I went out and leaving CH in the stanchion, put the heifers in the maternity pen and without incident show Petula some grain and she follows me right in. Shut the door and lead her to the other empty pen. Wow that grain is like crack cocaine to a pregnant cow! Open the gate, let the heifers out and even CH lets me have a L of milk now! Hehehe, was almost heaven on earth!